Culinary Disasters

Yes I know the picture looks like baby puke but let us be honest what soup picture could not be confused as baby puke?

When browsing through the local farmer’s market I stopped to talk to one of my favorite farmers when I noticed he had some killer looking leeks and ohh…potatoes are ready.  Our weather has been starting to creep down to the 70s so it is getting me in the mood for some braising and heavier dishes like soups.

This also gave me a new chance to try out the new immersion blender (insert cheesy Tim Allen from Home Improvement grunt now).   So much fun and attaching it to an extension cord and chasing the cat around the house has became a new fun game at Jeff’s house (in case anyone decides to take this the wrong way it is a freaking joke people)

For this recipe you will need:

• 4 leeks white and light green parts only (mine were kind of small so if they were good size might only want to use 2-3).
• 1.5 lbs of potatoes cut in half
• 1 cup of white wine
• 4 cups of vegetable stock
• 1/2 cup of creme fraiche
• Pinch of crushed red pepper
• 2 bay leaves
• 4 sprigs of thyme
• 2 cloves of garlic finely diced
• 2 TB of unsalted butter
• Kosher salt and black pepper

When dealing with leeks they are not like onions where you can just slice and go.  You must wash them out (repeat that sentence three times so it is committed to memory).  I wish I would have documented this but it is pretty simple.  Take a knife and start at the root and cut all the way down to the top of the plant.  Open it up and wash it out or let it soak in a sink for a couple of hours. 

Over medium heat add in the 2 TB of butter and the leeks with a pinch of salt and black pepper.  Cook the onions till they are soft (about 5-10 minutes).

Toss in the garlic and let it cook for a minute.  Pour in the white wine and reduce it by 1/2 (about 5 minutes).  Add in the crushed red pepper, stock, thyme, bay leaves, and potatoes.  Bring this mixture to a boil and then reduce to a simmer till the potatoes are fork tender (about 30 minutes). 

Remove the bay leaves and take your blender to the pot while imagining those potatoes is everyone who has managed to piss you off that week.  If you don’t have an immersion blender you can use a regular blender just make sure to only fill it about half way and push down on to the top when you turn it on (I have repainted my walls once or twice before learning that lesson). 

Add in the creme fraiche (if you can’t find creme fraiche sour cream or even heavy cream would be good substitutions).  Adjust the seasoning with salt and pepper (I never like to add salt and pepper to a soup while it is cooking because there is a high risk of over seasoning especially if you are using a canned stock since some brands are sodium nightmares).

Garnished with chives and tada baby puke soup…

Tags: soup, All // 7 Comments »

My first habanero came out of the garden!!!!  Tradition for me whenever this happens is to make a jerk marinade.  The rest of the habaneros I hope speed up because they have a date to be turned into hot sauce.  I am also in overabundance of tomatoes.  I don’t know why I decide every year to plant 10+ tomato plants when I freaking live alone.  Friends can only take so much and near the end I am so sick of canning I don’t even want to think about it.  I at least have some good standbys of roasted tomato salad and caprese salad to kill off a good amount of them.

I had to laugh when watching Dinner Impossible with Michael Symon and he was refusing to serve boneless chicken breasts because it can’t serve anything without a bone or skin.  I have never been a huge fan of the boneless skinless chicken breasts because for the price I think they are bland and lacking any personality.  Give me the cheap old fatty thighs any day of the week.

For this recipe you will need:

• 1 onion cut into large slices
• 4 cloves of garlic large dice
• 1 habanero pepper quartered (relax the heat of the habanero is muted by the sweetness from the spices but if you must feel free to substitute a jalapeno).
• 2 tb kosher salt
• 1 tea black pepper
• 1 tea allspice
• 1 tea nutmeg
• 1 tea cinnamon
• 1 tb fresh thyme leaves
• 1/4 cup worcestershire sauce
• 1/4 cup white wine vinegar

Combine everything in a food processor or blender and spin till everything is chopped up.  Pour the mixture over your chicken thighs and place in the refrigerator overnight (or at least 4 hours).

Fire up your grill or oven to 400 degrees (hello Weber charcoal kettle) and throw them on there till done.

Tags: chicken, All // 12 Comments »

Compound butters are the perfect way to add a lot of flavor and most importantly heart clogging goodness to any dish.  Plus there are millions of ways to make them and adapt to damn near anything from beef, lamb, salmon, and vegetables.  For example, if you are a corn on the cob fan mix some butter with lemon zest and fresh herbs.  Serve that to your guests instead of bland old boring butter and they will love you.  I am kicking myself because if I was thinking I would have tossed a diced chipotle pepper or maybe some crushed red pepper into this to add a little heat. 

Other than that little sell about the joys of consuming more butter I have nothing.  My life is same old same old.  Oh wait I do have an overabundance of tomatoes but the rest of the garden is slowly starting to die out.  However, this is also the perfect time to plant a round of fall vegetables such as lettuce, spinach, carrots, turnips, beets, and radishes in the ground to be consumed before frost hits.  So big money big money give me root vegetables.

For the butter you will need:

• 4 TB of room temperature unsalted butter
• 4 TB of blue cheese
• 1 TB of chives

Combine everything together and roll it into a cylinder shape. Wrap in plastic wrap or wax paper and place in the fridge for a couple hours to harden.

Let the steaks sit on the counter for a good 30-45 minutes to come up to room temperature. This allows even cooking of the steak.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Place your cast iron skillet over high for a good 5 minutes to really heat up. While the skillet is coming up to temp rub the steak with a little bit of canola oil, salt, and pepper.

Place the steak in the skillet and let it cook for 3 minutes. Flip the steak and let it cook for another 2 minutes. Transfer the steak to the oven to finish cooking. The steak I used with about an inch thick and it took about 5 minutes to get to medium-rare.

Remove the steak from the oven. Cut off a piece of the butter and place on top of the steak while the steak is resting.

Serve and enjoy!

Tags: beef, All // 9 Comments »

Well officially I am a slacker with two weeks no updates.  For about a year now I have been religiously updating this blog at least 2-3 times a week and sometimes way more than that.  Kind of hit a wall and just needed to take a two week vacation. 

I also wanted to take some time and figure out what direction I wanted the blog to head in.  I decided that I am going to start throwing in some techniques and tricks.  I could spend all day regurgitating recipes till I was blue in the face but showing people how to seasoning a cast iron skillet, select a knife, holding a knife, etc. will be more beneficial in the end.  As the saying goes give a man a fish and he will eat for a day teach the man how to fish and he will eat forever (or some rambling nonsense like that). 

Don’t worry though recipes will still be flowing like vodka at an open bar along with my signature dear god are those even in focus pictures and even worse writing.

So for my Ali like triumphant return to the ring I had to return to artery clogging goodness.  Macaroni and cheese is a beautiful thing and if done right one of those rich dishes that could cause a 3 year old to have bypass surgery.  However, the unhealthiness of the macaroni and cheese was not enough and I had to turn to the trusty oil to really put the nail in the coffin. 

For this recipe you will need:

• 3 cups of your favorite cheeses (I used 2 cups of a habanero cheddar and 1 cup of fontina)
• 1/2 cup of parmigiano-reggiano
• 8 TB of butter
• 1/2 cup of all-purpose flour
• 1.5 cups of whole milk
• 1 cup of heavy cream
• 1/2 lb of macaroni cooked
• 1/2 cup of bread crumbs

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees.

Over medium melt the butter and whisk in the flour.  Keep stirring till the mixture is light brown (about 3-5 minutes). 

Add in the 3 cups of cheese, whole milk, and cream.  Stir till the cheese has melted and the mixture has thickened up (about 5 minutes).  Make sure to keep stirring so none of the cheese gets burnt on the bottom of the pan.  Add in the cooked macaroni and stir to combine.

Pour this mixture into an 8×8 baking dish.  Top the dish with bread crumbs and the 1/2 cup of parmigiano-reggiano cheese. 

Place in the oven till the crust is golden brown (about 20 minutes).  Serve and enjoy!

Of course this is where the real fun begins.  Put the macaroni and cheese in the fridge overnight to harden up.  Get some of your favorite oil (I used a peanut oil) and bring it up to 350 degrees.  While the oil is coming up to temperature set up a 3 stage breading station with 1/2 cup all-purpose flour, 2 eggs beaten, and 1/2 cup of panko or breadcrumbs.

Take your macaroni and cheese and cut off a section.  Cover it in the flour, then the egg, and finally the breadcrumbs.

Place the battered macaroni and cheese in the oil and let them cook till browned all over (about 4 minutes).  Remove from the oil and carefully pat dry.

Now you really should serve and enjoy!

Tags: All // 18 Comments »

Well I have been a slacker in the update department however; I have not been cooking but was on a joyous business trip.  I landed on Tuesday but by the time you get home, do laundry, and play catch up you have easily lost a couple more days. 

Rubs to me the perfect thing to place on meat since they require no long time sitting in the fridge marinating, 90% of the time can be made from spices everyone already owns, and they also bring a lot of flavor to the party. 

Sorry I am cutting my rambling short today because I am still trying to play catch up.

For this recipe you will need:

• Chicken
• 1 TB paprika
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 teaspoon onion powder
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• pinch of dried oregano
• pinch of dried thyme
• cayenne pepper to taste (I believe I went with about 1/2 teaspoon)

Combine all your dry ingredients, taste, and adjust.  With the cayenne pepper it is easier to add less in, taste, and add more than try to correct it after you dump to much in and it is way to spicy for your tastes. 

Put a little bit of oil (peanut oil for me) on the chicken and rub in the spice mixture.

Cook the chicken till you are done.  I went with a grill over medium-high heat for 5 minutes a side but a 400 degree oven would also work.

Tags: Quick, chicken, All // 5 Comments »

This salad is the evil bastard stepchild of a true Greek salad.  A true Greek salad is simply tomatoes, cucumbers, red onion dressed in extra virgin and oregano. 

The inspiration for this salad comes from a local restaurant ran by this awesome Greek family who on Saturday after leaving the Farmer’s Market we decided to stop by and eat at.  If you are ever in the Fort Wayne area the restaurant is called Cosmos and always packed (which I might add being in a town that is saturated with Crapabees and TG McFunsters it is awesome to see local restaurants still fighting).  Everything on their menu is amazing from the egg skillets to the pancakes and all the way to the fried fish.

Tuesday night is when this salad came into play because the previous two days I was stuck in leadership training not because my company has aspirations of me ever becoming a leader (trust me if they could move me anymore underground they would) but rather it was a pre-requisite for a certification.  So coming home I started thinking what is quick and easy because I am tired and don’t feel like really cooking (ok really that is a complete and utter lie I am actually addicted to Sid Meier’s Civilization Revolution for the PS3 and wanted to shut off my brain and play while listening to obnoxious punk music). 

I also might add this was another chance to use my great new toy the salad spinner.  I feel like an evil carnival operator whenever I get to pump the handle repeatedly and then for no reason hit the brake all while laughing.  I am also thinking of starting a side project similar to Blendtec’s Will It Blend and calling it Jeff’s Will It Spin.   

Anyways, caffeine is kicking in so on to the recipe:

For the dressing you will need:

• 1/4 cup of extra virgin
• 2 TB of red wine vinegar
• 1 TB of fresh oregano (1 teaspoon dried)

The easiest way on the face of the earth to mix up dressing is take a mason jar, dump everything in that, tighten the lid, and shake till combined. 

For the salad portion of our meal you will need:

• Couple cups of lettuce shredded
• 1/2 cucumber diced
• 1 pepper diced (I went with an anaheim)
• Diced tomato (I went with 1/2 a yellow pear and 1/2 a brandywine)
• Handful of olives
• Pepperchinis
• Red onion sliced thinly (mandoline works perfect)

Combine all the salad ingredients in a bowl and lightly (you don’t want to hear the lettuce gurgling because it is drowning) dress the salad.  Gently use your fingertips to combine everything.  Top with feta and sprinkle some more oregano on top.

Tags: Quick, Salad, All // 6 Comments »

First off before I start rambling I have been seeing a lot of bloggers out there posting pictures of their gardens and I felt left out.  If you don’t know I love to garden in fact it is one of those things I look towards every year spring.  This year I had in my front window enough work lights and plants growing I am actually shocked the DEA was not knocking on my front door with a search warrant. 

I started 72 tomato starts and a majority of them ended up donated to friends, compost bin, or a lucky 18 made it into the garden.  By the time transplant shock claimed a few and wonderful Indiana weather that had me debating turning my back yard into rice patties I have 12 tomato plants alive and well.  Besides the tomatoes I have 2 jalapenos, 2 habanero, 4 green peppers, peas, beans, lettuces, beets, radishes, cucumbers, cantaloupe, beans, brocoli, spinach, squash, and a lone evil unnamed pepper plant (actually I am pretty sure there is still some stuff I am missing).  Next year the plan is the garden will probably close to double in size.  Currently I have been designing and building the raised beds in the garage.  Which I might say is slowly becoming my new favorite hobby since it requires tools that make a lot of noise and look cool. 

Actually do any of the gardeners know out there know if is there any problems with using Trex decking for raised beds?  All the wood to date has been untreated wood but I know it will have to be replaced in probably 5 years but the Trex stuff is guaranteed for 25 years.  Their website says safe for garden raised beds but I would rather have seal of approval from a 3rd party than the company. 

(Click here to read the rest…)

Tags: Quick, Healthy, chicken, All // 7 Comments »

I wish my whiteboard had a reminder beep like my Outlook decides to do to me every time I am about to miss a meeting.  This way when it is getting close to a deadline I am not once again frantically running around like a madman trying to throw something together. 

This is my Taste and Create entry for the month of July.  Once again for those who do not know Taste and Create is this awesome idea in which you are given a blog and choose a dish from that blog and then you write about that dish.  If you are interested more information can be found at http://tasteandcreate.rezimo.com/

So this month I was truly scared I drew http://www.cupcakeproject.com.  If anyone is familiar with my blog you understand I have as much in common with baking as a nerdy high school boy who plays Dungeons and Dragons on the weekend dating the head cheerleader who is Ms. Popularity.  However, looking through her blog I felt instantly as ease everything is very well written, detailed, and well it felt like I had my own baking prodigy in my kitchen.  Wee…maybe just maybe if I can follow directions correctly this will turn out to be a success and hopefully this entry will not live up to my blog’s name.

It took a little bit of looking to finally decide on one I wanted to try. The first one that stood out was grilled orange cupcakes (http://www.cupcakeproject.com/2008/06/orange-cupcakes-cupcakes-grilled-in.html).  This is perfect for me it involves my number one love which is spending time in front of a grill with my number one frustration.  If I average this I will be happy in the middle.  However, a little bit more digging found a post that truly sparked my interest and this is (as you probably already guessed unless you somehow missed the big black text at the top of the screen) the Olive Oil Cupcakes with Lemon and Thyme (http://www.cupcakeproject.com/2008/05/olive-oil-cupcakes-with-lemon-thyme-and.html)  It has ingredients I would never have ever considered throwing in a cupcake batter such as olive oil and thyme so it felt perfect for me. 

Oh yeah I have to admit I have never ever up to this date made a cupcake.  I love to eat them and I always vision making them to be this flour flying disaster that will take hours to clean up and mean to have to go to my Happy Gilmore happy place (yes there are midgets in mine also) or worse end me up in the insane asylum swearing the evil cupcake is going to devour me.  So given that in mind I have to say in the words of Comic Book Guy: Easiest Cupcake Ever.  It was light, lemony, and the thyme did not overpower at all.  I have actually eaten three of the little buggers since I have started writing this. 

Without anymore rambling (aka I want to finish this so I can sleep) I present you with the recipe for bestest cupcakes ever:

• 2 C all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 t baking powder
• Pinch of salt
• 1 C granulated sugar
• 2/3 C of awesome extra virgin olive oil
• 1 T lemon zest
• 3 large eggs
• 1/2 C lemon juice
• 2 T finely chopped fresh thyme (Click here to read the rest…)

  Tags: Dessert, All // 13 Comments »

I love basil pesto not only does it make the perfect appetizer on some grilled bread but hey for a quick and dirty meal cook up some pasta and toss it with that.  You could mix in some sun dried tomatoes and stuff it in a chicken breast or pork tenderloin or just take a spoon and start eating.  If that has not sold you on the merits of the pesto well then it takes less than 5 minutes to make.  Take that Sandra Lee and your crappy pre-made from a can recipes that are suppose to be convenient but I could only imagine taste like licking sucking on a penny while eating a stale jelly doughnut.  Ok that last analogy was horrendous I know but hey it is early and I am still only on my second cup of coffee so cut me some slack. 

Anyways, with a fully producing herb garden at the present moment it is time once again to turn my attention to giving some love to the herbage.  Pretty soon the tomatoes and peppers will be in full swing.  Oh yeah speaking of peppers so I grabbed this pepper starter months ago I had never heard of.  Planted it, watered it, and all that good stuff.  Well he grew up big, strong, and produced peppers.  So last night I was in the garden weeding and noticed the pepper was ready for the picking.  Since 90% of the garden produce gets ate while I am working in the garden I naturally reached over, grabbed it, and took a bite (I know blah blah always wash produce blah blah blah so sue me).  Ok if you read this blog you know I love hot stuff but this pepper was like Satan knocked up a habanero and this was their evil offspring.  Also, makes me happy because I see some jerk chicken in my immediate future with this variety. 

When I actually remember to read the tag next to the plant I will post the pepper variety.

Ok enough rambling and more pesto action.  For this recipe you will need:

• 2 cups of basil leaves
• 3 cloves of garlic
• 1/3 cup of pine nuts
• 1/2 cup of parmesan or romano cheese (I went with parmesan because I have a block I am currently trying to use up).
• Salt and pepper to taste
• 1/3 cup to 1/2 cup of oil depending on how thick you want the pesto to be (Click here to read the rest…)

  Tags: Base, Appetizer, All // 5 Comments »

I have a confession I hate writing about classic Italian dishes.  I love to make them but making an entry about them seems to draw out every Internet troll to tell you how far off base you are.  For some reason there is not a cuisine on the face of this planet that will be fought over as much as Italian cuisine.  Hell I am willing to bet right now in Bologna there are two men who live across the street from each other and will not talk to each other because they can’t see eye to eye on the proper preparation of a Bolognese sauce.

The beautiful thing about Italian cuisine to me is it is based upon what is available in that area.  For example, some areas may use sheep milk’s cheese or others may use pork because that is readily available to them. 

I pretty much stole this recipe from Batali.  The only change I made was the addition of pecorino romano because I think it plays very well and adds a nice sharpness to the dish.

Also, if you are salt sensitive this dish is not for you since pancetta is very salty combined with two cheeses that are salty and you have a recipe for disaster.

For this recipe you will need:

• 6 ounces of pancetta finely diced
• 4 eggs separated
• 1/2 cup of pecorino romano cheese
• 1 cup of Parmigiano-Reggiano (I love typing that out for the record and yes I always say it with some wannabe thick Italian accent)
• 1/2 onion finely diced
• Black pepper
• 1 lb of cooked spaghetti with about 1/2 cup of the reserved pasta water (Click here to read the rest…)

  Tags: Quick, pork, All // 7 Comments »